Cendre

Big and green was the being of Cendre. Beautifully quiet and busy at the same time. What do you do when you have never known pain or blackness? Just bliss, no stinky business . But beauty without ugliness is just being. It’s not beauty. It is empty and plain. So Cendre was obsessed with blackness, terror and pain. It was the only thing that broke the big and green life.  Relentlessly searching for downs in a live that was a strait line somewhere on the upper site of a chart. Because only when you go down, you have the ability to climb up again. Without valleys there are no peaks. And it’s those peaks that make a life worthwhile, no matter how big or green it is.
Without a sensation of moving up and down along the ride, there is not a lot to feel. It seems like you are not moving at all, just stuck at the seem place for eternity.
Cendre needed to sense something, anything, everything. A majestic jump into the depths of all blackness. To rise and see a multitude of colours, not just the green. Green had become nearly invisible. A bland haze in front of blank eyes.
To jump is too let go and letting go goes against everything that is ingrained in Cendre. Always being told to hold on, to keep, to cherish, to grab, to ….  Until their is this voice that starts to convince you to let go. Out of the blue. You can not un-hear it, at first it is a whisper, than it becomes louder and louder.  It does not stop and if you try to ignore it, it rises to a rumble that can shatter every fiber of your being. Either you jump, either you crumble. It is like a disease that can consume you whole in a relentless way if you don’t treat it. You jump or crumble.
The voice had tormented Cendre for the longest time, the fibers had already started shaking. It was time, time to take the leap.

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